Everyday Grace

Everyday Grace: Losing That Resentment

It happens to everyone sometime. Someone wrongs us and we feel bitterness and resentment about what they’ve done. Eventually that can develop into a resentment of the person themselves, not just the action or situation that started the whole thing.

But how can you get rid of it?

  • Approach the person, not as someone who has wronged you, but as a child of God. Remember before you speak that God loves this person just as much as he loves you. That can help your sense of perspective.
  • If you cannot approach this person as beloved by God, you may want to take the time to pray for them. Prayer is sanctifying. God can burn off the dross of bitterness and help us love others.
  • Accept that nothing in the past can be changed, not for the other person and not for you. God allows us to start every day afresh. Can you do it, too?

Ultimately, the only person who’s getting hurt when you carry resentment around with you is… you. You don’t need to do that to yourself. Forgiveness isn’t something we do for others; we do it for ourselves, so we can heal and move on.



Everyday Grace

Everyday Grace: 6 Steps to a More Meaningful Prayer Life: Part Two

“Lord, teach us to pray!” was the request of the disciples, and it’s true that we’re all searching for a prayer life that will keep us centered on God, even when we’re not actually on our knees. Last week and this week we’re looking at some things you can do to enrich your prayer life and bring yourself into a space that’s mindful and meaningful. This week it’s three things you can do to enter fully into prayer:

  • Prayer isn’t just about words: God enters through all our senses. So try gazing as a form of prayer. Find an icon; you might like an icon of Mary or a moment in Jesus’ life or a saint. Icons are sometimes understood as windows to heaven, and they point us to God. A visually-focused prayer can be helpful to many people.
  • Pray the psalms. Though the psalter was meant as a kind of hymnal for God’s people, the psalms also work beautifully as prayer, and have been part of both private prayers and the Church’s liturgies for centuries. A bonus is that you can find psalms that can express all sorts of feelings—gratitude, love, loneliness, anger, anxiety… it’s all there.
  • Sometimes it’s about establishing a small habit. Say grace with every meal, every time. This is a great way for families to pray together; everyone can memorize a simple grace and say it together. When you’re eating alone or in public, you might say a silent prayer and bless yourself. It’s not hard to make a habit of giving thanks to God for all our blessings as we prepare to eat.

Sometimes we can feel that our prayer life is arid and joyless. At times like that, it can be helpful to try something a little different—like gazing on an icon—or go back to something we may have neglected, like asking for God’s blessing at meals. Whatever you do, know the Daughters of St. Paul are keeping you in their prayers!

Everyday Grace, Uncategorized

Everyday Grace: Why Am I So Tired?

We push ourselves every day to do more, to save time, to keep going, to add just one more thing… and then we are surprised when we find ourselves exhausted and spiritually drained. This fatigue will sap at our spiritual, mental, and physical health if we let it. But what can we do?

  1. Jesus gave us the answer. “Come to me, all of you who are weary, and I will give you rest,” he said, and then showed how: he “often withdrew to lonely places to pray.” Making and keeping specific times in the day to pray in solitude will naturally slow you down, keep you focused, and keep you energized. Prayer is a powerhouse. Use it!
  2. God takes good care of our souls, but we’re responsible for our bodies. We can only fulfill our place in God’s plan when we care for them. Getting enough sleep at night, eating the foods that will nourish but not overwhelm our bodies, and exercising are all common interventions to fight fatigue.
  3. Ask for help. We are not in this alone. We are part of a wide community of faith that can support us in prayer; we have only to ask. We are part of a physical community that can provide a listening ear, help with the carpool, the loan of a book, and so much more. We have only to ask.

So much goes into taking care of ourselves so we can care for others. Airlines regularly instruct passengers to place their own oxygen masks over their faces before helping others. We need to be strong and healthy in order to do God’s work, and the best way to attain that strength is through prayer.

One of the practices of the Daughters of St. Paul is to spend an hour every day in Eucharistic Adoration. It’s not uncommon for people to question how they find the time—to which the most frequent answer is, how can one not? St. Francis de Sales said, “Every one of us needs half an hour of prayer a day, except when we are very busy—then we need an hour.”

It might be worth a try!

Everyday Grace

Everyday Grace: Stay with Easter!

We tend to see Easter, like Christmas, as a holiday rather than a season. We’ve been to Mass, celebrated the resurrection, enjoyed an Easter Egg hunt, eaten a sumptuous Easter dinner, and now we’re done. But the Church in its infinite wisdom invites us to live the Easter message in a season of joy. And why would anyone bypass joy? Here are three ways you can stay with Easter this year:

  • Connect Easter with spring. We’re all aware of the new life around us, as the first brave flowers make their brilliant appearance. It’s an obvious metaphor, and a good one: our new life in Christ is just as beautiful as the new life surrounding us. So fill your house with flowers as a reminder of the resurrection.
  • Pay attention. Have you noticed that the usual reading from the Hebrew Bible at Mass has been replaced by readings from the Acts of the Apostles? It’s to emphasize the role of the Church in our journey as Christians. This may be a good time to re-read the whole book; it’s our story, the story of our spiritual ancestors. We’re all interested in what Grandmother was like or when it was Uncle Paul joined the navy, so let’s take on our corporate geneaology too!
  • Keep the celebration going. Why not send out Easter cards or give your family Easter gifts now? It emphasizes the fact of Easter being truly 50 days and not just one. Add a note to explain that the card or gift is arriving now not because you are late, but because you’re right on time.

Easter is the most openly joyful time of celebration we have, a contrast to the background of the shadows and darkness of Lent and Holy Week. The Easter season is a living expression of the hope that God has brought into the world through the death and resurrection of Jesus. So let us rejoice and be glad!


Everyday Grace

Everyday Grace: 3 Ways to Celebrate Mary’s Month

The month of May has been for some centuries devoted in a special way to the Blessed Mother. But once you’re outgrown the May processions of schooldays, what can be done individually to reflect that devotion and embrace our Mother? Here are a few ideas:

  1. There are many ways Mary has reached out to the faithful. Why not research and adopt a new Marian devotion this month? There are many from which to choose: Our Lady of Fátima, Our Lady of Sorrows, Our Lady Undoer of Knots, Our Lady of Guadalupe, Our Lady of Perpetual Help… find one that touches you in some special way.
  2. Read a book. There are so many beautiful books written about Our Lady, and different authors draw readers into different aspects of her love and generosity. (Pauline Books & Media offers an excellent selection of such books.)
  3. You might also consider becoming invested in the scapular as an outward sign of your consecration to the Blessed Mother. Your priest will bless it for you so you can wear it under your clothing as a constant reminder.

Whatever way you choose to celebrate Mary in May, it’s sure to bring you joy. Our Mother is with us always, leading us to Jesus and loving us all. She certainly deserves her own month and any special joy we can bring her through our devotions!

Everyday Grace, Seasonal

Everyday Grace: 3 Ways to Live in the Light

It happened. The impossible-to-understand event has occurred. The tomb was empty, and an ordinary gardener turned out to be the Risen Christ. It’s easy to think this bit of salvation history, this holiday, is now over. The house is full of chocolate eggs, and we’re all a little stunned by the journey through Lent and Holy Week. Time to get back to Real Life.

Well, maybe not. What is easy to forget is that Jesus’ reappearance wasn’t a sideshow. He came back, and he stayed for another forty days. Jesus didn’t just show up and leave us again. His death and resurrection were not the end of his teaching. He didn’t leave us alone with our grief. He stayed, and when he left, he gave us the Holy Spirit so the Triune God could be with us forever.

But how does one live this Easter season, these forty precious extra days when Jesus walked the earth again? Here are some ideas:

  1. Many Catholics try to perform spiritual or corporal acts of mercy throughout Lent. But aren’t they even better suited to Eastertide? In gratitude and joy in his presence we can offer the very things that Jesus did for us: visit someone who is sick, give away clothing to someone who needs it, forgive someone else, pray for the living and the dead.
  2. This is a time to reflect on your Lenten journey. We’re usually so glad Lent is over that we don’t even think of it again. What worked, and what didn’t? Were you able to find a Lenten practice and stick to it? Write your reflections down in a notebook and remember it next year; it can guide you in your choices.
  3. Imagine being a disciple seeing Jesus appear after dying. How could that not change your life? Eastertide is a time of gratitude and sharing. If you don’t already keep a gratitude journal, this might be a good time to begin.

Eastertide is all about presence, Jesus’ real presence in our lives. We meet him in the Eucharist… but we meet him so many other places, too, on dark roads and in storms, in midnight’s shadows and bright springtime sunlight. Maybe just being aware of those encounters is a good way to begin.

Everyday Grace, Uncategorized

Everyday Grace: 3 Ways to Keep Your Focus During Holy Week

Holy Week, as we all know, is an intense journey with Jesus through the darkest moments of life, emerging finally into the glory of the resurrection at the Easter Vigil. Through many different liturgies, our Church invites us to recall this journey and these events.

Unfortunately, in real life, most of us don’t have the option of slowing down to accommodate extra liturgies and church attendance. So how can we keep our focus on Jesus throughout the week?

  • Either alone or with your family, watch one of the many excellent movies that re-tell the Holy Week story. One favorite is Jesus taken from The Bible Stories series, with Jeremy Sisto as Jesus. You may have another favorite. This is a wonderful way to enter into the story visually and emotionally.
  • Use your social media. If you can’t unplug, then post Bible passages, appropriate poetry, and links to great works of art that point to God’s redeeming love instead of posting political rants, pictures of your cat, or updates about your activities.
  • The Good Friday liturgy is beautiful and moving, but you might not be able to get to church for it. If not, take a longer lunch break at work to acknowledge this sacred time. Shut off your electronics, read quietly, reflect on Jesus’ last words.

We’d all love to be able to spend this entire week in church and with the community of faith, but most of us don’t have that luxury. Don’t give up! You don’t have to be physically in a church to carry Christ in your heart this Holy Week.

Everyday Grace, Uncategorized

Everyday Grace: How to Make a Difference in Difficult Times

We’re all in bad-news overload these days, it seems. Natural disasters, political frays, grief and sadness… it’s a constant assault on our minds and hearts, and with so much bad news coming at us, it’s easy to feel small, insignificant, and ineffectual.

But we’re assured that God loves us, that he has carved us into the palm of his hand. We are important in God’s eyes, and knowing that can empower us to take action:

  • Pray about it. Prayer changes things. Prayer changes us. God has arranged his world so we can make choices, and we can often discern his will when we open ourselves to it. Remember the words of Padre Pio: “Pray, hope, and don’t worry. Worry changes nothing. God is merciful and will hear your prayer.”
  • Do something locally. The world is a vast place, and changing it is a tall order. But you can make a difference locally. Support a local political candidate of your choice. Volunteer at a local shelter. Encourage your community to reuse and recycle. Support your local parish. This is the level at which you can effectuate change.
  • Educate yourself. If you accept everything you hear, then there’s reason to be discouraged. But choose something that bothers you, or excites you, and learn all about it. Explore it from different viewpoints. Expand your horizons. The world still might not make sense, but you’ll have gotten a little control over at least your understanding of it.

We live in difficult and confusing times. But remember—so did Christ; so did many of the saints of the Church. For some reason, God has called you to live in these times. Meet that challenge thoughtfully and prayerfully, and you can make a difference.

Everyday Grace

Everyday Grace: 3 ways to rest your spirit this January

Christmas trees and parties and gifts and candy and dinners are over. Though the Christmas Season lasts liturgically until the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord on January 13, the fun and exciting aspects of the holidays are quickly fading. Perhaps you even feel some relief. The holidays are a lot of work: they can bring on family stress as people gather who haven’t seen each other in months, and gift-giving can mean a lot of expense. Taking down those decorations means life is back to normal. The stores are off to Valentine’s Day excitement, but really we all just need a break from the stress. Here are three things you can do to rest your spirit this month:

  • Breathe and relax. When you’re suffering stress, bringing your attention to your breath can help ground you in the concrete. Breathe deeply. Look around you. Observe your surroundings as if you were in a bubble, a little removed from powerful emotions. Tense and relax different muscle groups. Take some time to simply be present.
  • Disconnect from news and social media for a period of time. Constant access to other people’s worries and expectations, to commercials and blog posts about the next exciting thing, and to the 24-hour news cycle keeps our nervous system vigilant. We never really relax and know what it is to be at peace with who we are on our own. A regularly scheduled news and social media retreat can help us be less anxious.
  • Know that freedom from stress and anxiety doesn’t mean you won’t be stressed and anxious. No one can escape stress and worry in their life, but the truly free are those who can work skillfully with their feelings and fears so that the discomfort that is a part of life doesn’t overwhelm them. Cultivate gratitude and compassion for yourself and others in the presence of stress and anxiety.


What are your plans to de-stress and rest your spirit this January? Share with us below.

Everyday Grace, Uncategorized

Everyday Grace: 3 Ways to Put Jesus First Approaching Christmas

Once we pass Gaudate Sunday, it seems, time seems to accelerate toward Christmas. What can you do this year to keep the focus where it belongs? We have three ideas:

  • Give God a Christmas present! Make your gift one that no one knows about, and make it a sacrifice. Perhaps you can forgive someone you’ve needed to forgive. Perhaps you can give away something dear to you that someone else in your life needs. Whatever it is, it will be dear to God.
  • Write a Christmas letter to someone who needs it. Choose someone you don’t know—a missionary stationed far from home, a soldier serving in the military, a volunteer at a soup kitchen or a refugee camp. Assure them of your prayers. It will mean the world to them this Christmas.
  • Really listen to a Christmas song. This is possibly the easiest form of meditation! We sing Christmas carols without actually hearing them because they’re so familiar. Choose one, print out the words, and give yourself ten minutes to read it and truly think about it. Then when you hear it again, you’ll be putting Jesus first instead of fuzzy feelings that might otherwise surround the song.

Putting Jesus first can be a challenge as Christmas approaches, but there are simple ways that you can bring your attention, thoughts, and heart back to the source.

Why not share how you’re putting Jesus first this Advent and Christmas?