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Everyday Grace

Everyday Grace: 3 Ways to Cherish Families

Since we finished celebrating Mother’s Day and Father’s Day this spring, it seems a good time to be thinking about family. Not all family life is a celebration, however, and we need to know that sometimes it will be more difficult to “be” family than at other times. What can we do?

  1. Meditate on the example of the Holy Family. If anyone knows about sacrifice, danger, the difficulties of small-town gossip, the fear of the unknown, it’s them! Yet Mary and Joseph both relied entirely on the Lord to provide for them and his young Son. We all worry, but prayer helps.
  2. Spend time together. Time is the most precious and fleeting gift we can give to anyone. Some many activities and priorities jostle each other for precedence in our lives; but even as we are called to be part of the family of God, that starts in our own families. Give them every moment you can, whether it’s exploring a new recipe, heading out on a bike trail, or just stopping to listen.
  3. Remember your vocation. As Pope Francis has underlined, a family’s vocation is love.Is love reflected in all your family interactions? Sure, there will be arguments and hurt feelings—but do you work to repair those moments and to forgive?

As Catholic families, we need to live out our faith in our daily tasks, and provide an example to the world of how to be fully alive with the Gospel. When we keep our eyes on Christ, we can have the confidence to go forth and show charity to others, both in our families… and beyond.

Everyday Grace

Everyday Grace: 3 Ways to Build Patience

One of the seven virtues extolled in Scripture is patience… and it’s one of the most important, perhaps the most important, as all the other virtues require patience in order to be perfected! Yet patience is one of the most difficult virtues to practice. Here are three ways you can build patience:

  • Pray. Anything and everything can happen through prayer. St. Augustine reminds us we’re all beggars before God. If we ask, we will receive.
  • Meditate on Jesus. St. Jane Frances de Chantal writes, “With whom did Jesus converse? With a traitor who sold him at a cheap rate, with a thief who reviled him in His last moments, with sinners and proud Pharisees. And shall we, at every shadow of an affront or contradiction, show how little charity and patience we have?”
  • Practice agere contra (to go against). This is a concept borrowed from Ignatius of Loyola: when you feel impatient and are tempted to be unkind, go against your impulse, and smile, be thoughtful, do what you don’t want to do—but can do, with the help of God (see the first item in this list: prayer!).

The truth is, we all hate to wait. If a website doesn’t load fast enough, if the car in front of us doesn’t take right off at the green light, if a friend is a few minutes late in arriving, we tend to lose it. But over and over we are assured that God wants us to be patient—with others, and with ourselves. And we can do it, with God’s help!

Bonus hint: Many saints struggled with patience, but none more than St. Cyprian, who wrote a whole book on it called On The Advantage of Patience. His advice? Remember the times others have been patient with us, and how it felt. If it’s a gift we appreciated, then we can better pass it on to others.

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Being Vulnerable with the Sacred Heart of Jesus

There’s an expression in English: to wear one’s heart on one’s sleeve. What it means, essentially, is to be open, to be vulnerable, to be genuine, to be transparent. What you see is what you get, as another expression would have it. It means showing, and feeling, the essence of the person.

Despite my growing up in France, where so many churches and cathedrals are named for the Sacré Coeur, I never had much attraction to the devotion. As a child, I found the Sacred Heart image frightening—and, honestly, a little gruesome. I didn’t understand why there was a devotion to Jesus’ heart, per se—why not, simply, to all of him?

I knew a woman who spent years working with the Peace Corps in Malawi, a grueling job that included the realization of just how much she had been blessed by being born where she was—and not in Africa. She saw preventable children’s diseases ravage families. She saw babies too hungry to even cry. She saw the horrors that over half the planet lives with every day, and “it broke my heart,” she said to me.

It was just an expression, I thought. We’ve all talked about experiencing a broken heart, haven’t we? But for Tasha it was real: she experienced an actual heart attack through the constant worry and concern she experienced for “her” kids, and she died. Tasha’s love tore her heart right out of her. Her heart was truly broken, and I’ve never used the term pejoratively again.

If one person can be that brokenhearted for those she loves who are in pain or distress, I wondered, brokenhearted unto death, then how much more so must Jesus feel brokenhearted for the pain of the world?

And the next questions followed… what does it mean, to follow Jesus on his path of love? Do I, like Tasha, like Jesus, need to have my heart broken?

That’s where the imagery comes in, for me. It’s not the fact of a heart: it’s the fact of a heart that gives everything. A heart that makes itself vulnerable to everyone in order to keep loving. Tasha’s family and friends all urged her to give up, to return home, to turn her back; she wouldn’t—her heart was in Malawi with the children she was treating. And as we know, Jesus also had plenty of opportunities to turn back, to go home, to let the world take its course. He wouldn’t—his heart was and is right there, with us, for us, in us.

Choosing to let your heart be broken—even to death—is a risky and terrible choice. Because if we really do wear our hearts on our sleeves, like Tasha and Jesus, then we give up the guarantees of a safe life. If we open our hearts to the poor, we can end up suffering as they do. If we open our hearts to injustice, we can end up ignored, ostracized, even killed. If we open our hearts to the sick and the dying, we can end up haunted by their fears and pain.

I was thinking of the cost of opening our hearts recently when I read of the Indigenous children’s bodies found at the Kamloops Indian Residential School in British Columbia. My heart aches for them, and for their families, who never knew what became of their little ones—and for my Church, too, which was responsible for the children. What alternate outcome could have been possible, had those who took them from their communities worn their hearts on their sleeves? How many of those young ones would have survived if their wellbeing had been “taken to heart”?

There’s no compromise here. Either we share in Jesus’ vision, in Jesus’ love… or we don’t. In a sense, the image of the Sacred Heart has changed from being a painting on the wall to the greatest challenge of all time.

Yet this is its reality. It’s the reality of the Incarnation and it’s the reality of the Sacred, sacrificial Heart. Look closely at the image, and what do you see? Fire, a sword, the crown of thorns. It is not an easy path we’re being asked to walk. It’s the ultimate in vulnerability.

The Sacred Heart is, at its core, a representation of how Jesus loves us: completely, radically, sacrificially. The Sacred Heart invites to consider the most important questions of life: What would it mean to love the way Jesus did? What would it mean for me to have a heart like his? How can my heart become more “sacred”?

So… what do we do?

The corollary to Jesus’ death is, of course, the resurrection. The Eastern Churches sing, “Christ is risen from the dead: trampling down death by death.” Just as we die, we will have eternal life, the ultimate contradiction. Love is stronger than suffering, stronger than doubt, stronger than cruelty, stronger than death.

I am willing to wear my heart on my sleeve, to take the chance, to stand up for the innocent and the weak, to risk being broken—so that I can rest in that beautiful sacred heart, and live within it forever.

by Jeannette de Beauvoir

Image credit: Tacho Dimas via Cathopic

Everyday Grace

Everyday Grace: 3 Ways to Feel Hope Again

As many countries choose to “open up” again, there’s some fear and anxiety over what the next phase of our lives holds. How will we live our faith in a changing world? We may not know what’s going to happen, but we do know who will be there with us!

  • Ask God for courage every day. We often awaken and fear is the first emotion that floods our minds and hearts. Resist fear by immediately saying an Our Father and asking God for courage in facing the day. Do it long enough and it will become a habit… that makes waking up easier!
  • Remember your Good Samaritans. Rewind the film of your life in the spirit of prayer and awareness and you will notice the many times that God placed in your path some Good Samaritan who helped you in your need. This will keep your thoughts focused on gratitude, not worry. And perhaps inspire you to become a Good Samaritan in someone else’s life!
  • And finally, dream of a world still not seen, but will certainly come one day. Think of those who sailed oceans, scaled mountains, conquered slavery or made life better for people on earth. It will give you courage to work toward that which is good, holy, and hopeful!

“Hope is the theological virtue by which we desire the kingdom of heaven and eternal life as our happiness, placing our trust in Christ’s promises and relying not on our own strength, but on the help of the grace of the Holy Spirit. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.  The Holy Spirit…He poured out upon us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that we might be justified by His grace and become heirs in hope of eternal life.” (CCC #1817)

Everyday Grace

Everyday Grace: 3 Ways to Enjoy Life

Some of us have the blessing, this spring, of emerging slowly into the sunlight, blinking slightly at its brightness, after a very dark year and a half brought about by the worldwide pandemic. How can we set about enjoying life again?

  • Don’t wait for joy. If the pandemic has taught us anything, it’s that the moment God has given us is right now, this moment. So many people have the mindset that they will be really happy and enjoy life “when”…when they go on vacation, when the kids are older, all that sort of thing. God wants you to enjoy your life now, not “when.” The Holy Spirit gives us strength to live this ordinary, day-to-day life with the supernatural joy of the Lord.
  • Remember St. Paul’s “secret” and try to live it. St. Paul learned the secret to being content in life: “I have learned to be content with whatever I have. I know what it is to have little, and I know what it is to have plenty. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being well-fed and of going hungry, of having plenty and of being in need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”
  • Give yourself permission to feel good again. We’ve been through dark times. Some of us have suffered terrible things. Some of us feel guilt that we haven’t suffered as others have. Either way, God does not want us to stay in that dark place of guilt, pain, and remorse. He wants us to feel joy. If he can give us permission, then surely we can do that for ourselves?

Enjoying life now doesn’t mean that we’re forgetting what came before. But what we have is a gift, a tremendous gift from God. We are doing both ourselves and him a disservice if we don’t respond with joy!

Everyday Grace

Everyday Grace: 3 Ways to Pray When Praying is Hard

There are times—when we’re lucky—when praying feels easy, and natural, and even wonderful. Just talking with God, right? The truth is that while those times are uplifting, they’re also not the norm. For many of us, prayer can often be difficult, either to get started or to keep on. But what can you do about it?

  • Pray with someone else. For many of us, this is difficult; we’re not used to praying with other people except at Mass. But if you don’t feel like praying, you can bet someone else feels that way, too, and there’s strength in numbers! Invite a friend over, or pray with your children or spouse.
  • Read the psalms. You’ll be surprised at how much of these songs and prayers and verses will sound familiar to you. They have served as an inspiration to Christians for centuries, and they’ll work for you, too. Just read them and let your soul drift into prayer. “I call on you, my God, and you will answer me.”
  • Go for a “prayer walk.” Don’t just walk; walk intentionally. If you take yourself out of your everyday surroundings, you’ll have fewer distractions and you’ll be able to better focus on your conversation with God..

Even the saints struggled with prayer, but the truth is, we’re called to “pray always,” whether we feel like it or not. Prayer as a discipline flows into prayer as joy, but you can’t have one without the other!

Everyday Grace

Everyday Grace: 3 Seasons and How to Cope with Them

We know that seasons change, and just like the way natural seasons change, we can also see the changing of seasons in our lives. The book of Ecclesiastes tells us that there is a season for everything, and adds, “God has made everything beautiful for its own time.”

If you are going through a difficult season in your life, here are some ways to cope with it:

  • The dry season: You feel uninspired, and your prayer life seems empty. Remind yourself that you’re not the first person to feel this way, and fall back on prayers you know and love—the Our Father and the Hail Mary. Persevering through these simple prayers will get you though your feelings.
  • The waiting season: God has something in store for you, but it’s taking forever! You feel like the whole world is holding its breath in anticipation. This is a time to read: many of the saints needed to learn patience! Read about St. Cyprian, St. Monica, and St. Francis de Sales.
  • The trials season: Sometimes it just feels like you’re being tested, over and over again. The best thing now is to not be alone: others can help guide you through this difficult season. Use the sacrament of reconciliation frequently. This might be a time to consider talking to a spiritual director.

Not all seasons of your life are the same, and living through them with grace and with God means that you need to be deliberate. Don’t just allow them to happen to you; have a hand in how you experience them.

Everyday Grace

Everyday Grace: 3 New Meditations for Change

Well, they’re not actually new, they’re ancient! But they may be new to you, and at a time when we’re all searching for ways to live though the present time and possibly make sense of it all, they may be most welcome. Choose one of the options below and sit with it, if possible in a quiet place and before a crucifix or an image, or when you are sitting with the Blessed Sacrament. See which one calls to you.

  • The principal devotion of the Pauline Family is Jesus Master, Way, Truth, and Life. We look at Christ and in him contemplate his complete personality. He gave various descriptions of himself: “I am the light of the world,” “I am the vine,” “I am the good shepherd.” But these are particular aspects of Jesus. When he wanted to describe himself completely, he said: “I am the way, and the truth, and the life” (Jn 14:6). To reproduce the whole Christ in us, it is necessary to believe in his work, to follow his examples and to live his life. How can I think about Jesus Master, Way, Truth, and Life today? Can I do one thing, today, that will make others see his way in my life?
  • Our Founder, Blessed James Alberione, invites us to put ourselves in the school of Jesus the Divine Master. In this “school” we listen to the Word of God. We almost make ourselves all “ear” so that we can absorb his way of thinking, of reasoning, of loving, of choosing, of being. You might think about the virtue you most need to grow in at this time. You might picture how Jesus would conduct himself in the situations we find ourselves in right now, and listen to what he might say.
  • Why is St. Paul so great? How did he do some many wonderful things? How is it that year after year his doctrine, apostolate, and mission in the Church of Jesus Christ become better and better known, admired, and celebrated? Why? The answer lies in his interior life. The secret is here. Inflated balloons empty themselves and vanish in a day. How can I develop a genuine interior life that will sustain me and germinate seeds for others?

These are difficult questions for difficult times. Know that the Daughters of St. Paul are praying for you and with you as we move forward together.

Everyday Grace

Everyday Grace: 3 Ways to Start Your Day

Most of us find that when things go wrong early in the day, it casts a shadow over everything else! The good news is that the opposite is also true: when our days start well, we’re more confident, more present, and a great deal calmer! And when you intentionally start your day with the Lord, that can only keep you present with him through to bedtime.

But with alarm clocks ringing and a line for the family bathroom, how do you find calm in the morning?

  • Get up. It sounds simple, doesn’t it? But hitting the snooze button two or three times; all that does is make you late. Put your clock across the room if necessary so that you’re already out of bed when you turn it off.
  • Pray. I know: you think you don’t have time. And perhaps this isn’t the best moment for a full morning prayer service or a recitation of the Rosary. The good news is, all you need is a quiet prayer while you’re getting dressed! Tell God you’re grateful for this day and that you’re putting your trust in him to guide you through it. That’s all you need.
  • Resolve to be cheerful in encountering everything in your morning. C.S. Lewis writes that where Christ is, cheerfulness keeps breaking in, and it’s true! Your mood will spread to others and enhance the day they start their days, too.

Even for “morning people,” starting the day can be difficult and frustrating. But you’re in control of more than you may think. Try these simple steps for starting the day right and see what a difference they can make!

Everyday Grace

Everyday Grace: 3 Ways to Keep Perspective

Memento mori (literally, “remember that you have to die”) is an ancient practice of reflection on mortality, the reminder that this life is not forever. French painter Philippe de Champaigne illustrated it in his painting Still Life with a Skull, showing the three essentials of existence: a tulip (life), a skull (death), and an hourglass (time). The practice isn’t meant to be depressing, but rather to remind us of where our real life lies.

  • Remember that every day on earth is a gift from God. How many people died in their sleep last night? You weren’t one of them. Wake up with a sense of gratitude.
  • Keep this life in perspective. When someone angers you or hurts you, step back from it. Will it matter a year from now? Ten years from now? Take the long view.
  • If you were to die today, what would be left unsaid, what would be left undone? Make a list, and start crossing items off.

Scripture tells us that we never know when God might call us home to live with him in eternity. Memento mori is a practice that reminds of that, every day. We are just passing through this life: our real home is in heaven.